Tribute #11 - Penny Rowan

Tribute #11 for my birthday month (which I'm still celebrating by the way!!) goes out to my most awesome forever friend, Penny Rowan.
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I think Penny and I met at Belvidere Jr High School. We probably played BYB softball against one another when we were younger....but I don't think we met til 7th grade. I wish I could remember how we met.....a class, volleyball, basketball or somewhere else. Doesn't really matter though....what matters is the friendship that we had in school, throughout college and even today.

Penny had I had so many things in common way back when. Off the top of my head;

1. Brains! Yep, we were a couple of smart cookies. We took many a class together back in the day.
   



2. Athleticism! I was a volleyball/softball girl, Penny was a basketball/softball girl. We played competitive softball together during our high school years and both went on to play sports in college.
   



3. Attitude! We both had a bit of a sarcastic side and were equally invincible. Penny and I were risk-takers, always loving the thrill of pushing the envelope. I may have been a little more of an instigator but I'm pretty sure I never had to twist Penny's arm.
   



4. Awesome parents! We were both blessed with great parents that raised us to be independent. While we took that a little too far at times and sometimes ventured a little off the deep end, they did a great job molding us into responsible adults.
   

Penny and I kept in touch throughout college, always visiting during breaks and meeting up at different campuses throughout the state of Illinois. After graduation Penny stayed in Illinois and I moved to Alabama. Today we stay in touch through Facebook and over the phone....we may not talk for a few months, but it's always like we just talked 'yesterday'.

I have so many funny memories of our times together.....sneaking out at night during sleepovers, all those toilet-papering escapades, wild times at softball tournaments and all the instances where we got busted by one parent or the other. I wish I had a nickel for all the lame excuses that we made!! There are even a couple of memories of when one of us got hauled off to jail and one when the other SHOULD HAVE been.....but those won't be described in detail here. =)

My best memories of Penny and our friendship are centered on the traits that make her who she is. Penny is first and foremost the most HONEST person I've ever run across. She might be blunt and may at times bypass her filter, but I can say that I've always loved that Penny told it like it was no matter what. During times when I needed her to tell me that something was wrong, she did it...in a loving way of course. Some of those times I really didn't want to hear it, but deep down I always knew that she was right.

Penny's COMPASSION is another trait that I love. Even back in high school Penny would stick up for the little guy and she would help someone that needed it. After college she went into teaching and now works with kids who are locked up - helping them gain the skills to get their GED and make something of themselves. Penny has been by MY side when I needed her.. .even if she didn't agree with what I was doing at the time.

Finally, Penny and I share a deep faith in Christ. She's been a good Catholic girl (no, I can't type that with a straight face....) most of her life and I've only been a Christian since the age of 24, but over the last several years, many of our best discussions have centered around how God is showing up in our lives and how we're growing in our walk. A friendship based on faith is certainly a special one....there isn't much that can break that foundation. It makes me smile now remembering that she came down from Illinois to Alabama one weekend 17yrs ago when I got baptized. Way back when I didn't realize just how special that was, but I absolutely realize it today.

Penny - you know that you are indeed a very special friend. We've had our moments, but in the end we've come back to knowing that our friendship was one that was meant to last. Sometimes you're my hero, but you're always my friend. Love you!

Tribute #7 - Nichole Davis

Tribute #7 goes out to my very first friend in Prattville, AL. Nikki is one of the most special people in my life!
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Nik and I met the way I meet a lot of my friends....on the softball fields. I wrote the other day about the FBC-Prattville softball team and how special they were....well Nikki was on that team. Though we met in 1992, it was a number of years before we really became close friends. We played ball together and we'd occasionally do things outside of church, but we led really different lives back then. I remember a couple of poignant things about those early years. One.....I worked at a paper mill and would sometimes come into church after a Sat night midnight shift. I think Nikki would hope I didn't see her or surround herself with her teeny-bopper friends so I wouldn't sit by her....but occasionally I did. I don't think I realized how much I stunk after 8hrs in the mill. The other thing I remember, more fondly, was Nikki coming by my apt/house not long after I'd moved with a t-shirt. A birthday present. A 'No-Fear' t-shirt (remember when those were the rage?). It was the weirdest, most unexpected thing....but also one of the kindest things. It made an impression.

I don't know when we became close friends. Sometime in the mid-late 90's I suppose. We were pretty good friends by the time I had my first daughter, Sara, in 1998. We were in the same Sunday School class, still played softball together, and were part of a small group of couples that used to go out and do dinner/drinks in Montgomery on Thursday nights. Nikki had her first daughter shortly after I had mine...so we went through the whole 'first baby' thing together. We then had our second daughters right around the same time two years later. *For the record, she kept going and has FOUR kids now....I stopped at two.

Here's where Nikki becomes the soul sister that she is today. After spending almost 10 years in Prattville, AL, Nikki was the first friend that I shared my heart and soul with. She was there in the middle of the night one night when I needed to be heard, to be understood, to be loved on. I needed a friend to know me better than any other did. I needed a friend to simply know me. I had a lot of skeletons in my closet that did nothing but weigh my down and pull me under. Opening up to Nikki and being received with such love gave me the confidence to stop hiding in the shadows and start believing in myself. Had Nikki laughed at me, had she shrugged off my hurts, if she'd reacted in ANY way different from how she did, I wouldn't be who I am today. Nikki is a great mom, a great wife and an awesome friend. She has a heart of gold and a tender spirit. If you don't know her, well, you should.

Nikki and I haven't lived in the same city for over 8yrs now. We still get together every year in the Spring though for Girls Weekend and we've started a Black Friday shopping/ice cream tradition with our girls in Prattville the last couple of Thanksgivings. We keep up over the phone, on Facebook and through email. Nikki and I know that we have one another's backs....that NOTHING could break apart the friendship that we share. We've been through a lot together and have grown closer through it all.

I told you that Nikki was my first friend in Prattville. Maybe my first friend as a real adult! I'll also tell you that if I started counting the women in my life who are the most special to me, that I'd still have at least a couple of fingers left on the first hand when I got to her.

Love you Nikki!!

Tribute #6 - Hunting Camp Weekends

Tribute #6 goes out to the numerous girls weekends spent at Hunting Camp. Those weekends were "the best weekend of the year" kind of weekends!

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I may have the dates wrong, but from March 2001 to March 2010, a group of ladies would venture to the middle of nowhere (or so it seemed) for a weekend in the woods of western Alabama. The property was hundreds of acres of hunting land with an old farmhouse perfect for housing any number of people. The group started hitting the camp for a weekend when we all had small children....it was a 'sanity' weekend and an opportunity for our husbands to really bond with the babies. =)

We started with four of us...grew to six...and had a few years where one would be missing for whatever reason. There was a family death, a child hospitalization, other health issues and getting ready for a move that disrupted the group different years, but we managed to get together one way or the other. All but one weekend was at the camp.....in 2004 three of us spent the weekend in Pensacola instead in the world's smallest cabin. That year was also special because it was me with two pregnant women....not the wildest of weekends!

The weekends would be spent riding four-wheelers, cooking wonderful food and drinking coffee out on the porch in the rocking chairs. We'd catch up on our families, our jobs, our hurts and our happys - sometimes crying but mostly laughing as the weekend raced by. Only the first year or two did we all actually live in Prattville together.....two of us moved away shortly thereafter but again, we made it back, year after year.

These weekends were special for so many reasons. The opportunity to simply relax, to get away from the chaos of the house, the family, the job...this was essential. The opportunity to grow our friendships, offer support when there was pain or hugs when there was joy. This was special too. We shared so much during those weekends.

I'll say that I formed my greatest friendships over the years with these women. At 30+ years old, these were the women that I was finally able to knock down walls with, to be totally honest, to bare my soul. These were the women that cried and prayed with me as I struggled and fought to make sense of it all way back when.

If you're friends with me on FB, you can look through my photo albums....you'll see probably at least two or three albums from past Hunting Camps. Take a look and TELL ME they don't look like fun!!

Tribute #4 - Fractured Friendships

Tribute #4 is a little different. I'm going to focus here on fractured friendships and what they've done to make me who I am today.
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Fortunately I haven't suffered from too many 'fractured friendships'. I've had several friendships that probably had potential to be special at one time....but due to my own fears about getting close to someone, I pushed them away through all sorts of bad behavior. A 'fractured friendship' would be something more significant than that.....it would be a SPECIAL friendship, a close, meaningful relationship, a person with whom I'd trusted everything with.....and that friendship would be gone for good. I can think of a couple, and while painful, led me to be the friend I am today.

One thing that fractured friendships have NOT done is drive me away from sharing, from baring my heart and soul to those that I love and trust. That close circle of friends that I have still get the pleasure of hearing every happy and every hurt in my life. Fractured friendships have not stopped me from growing and cultivating budding friendships - there are a couple really good ones in my life right now that I'm embracing. Fractured friendships have not made me wary of people.....I know that in order to have a friendship that is meaningful and two-way, that I have to be willing to give, to sometimes take that first big step, to open my heart and invite someone in.

Fractured friendships have made me a BETTER friend. To those that have stood by me, that have loved and cared for me, I've amped up message of my love and caring. Let there NEVER be a doubt where I stand. I learned through a book that every small 'thing' that can come between two friends must be dealt with immediately.....like bricks in the middle, if you don't tend to them and remove them, they start to pile up and can soon become a wall if you're not careful. Fractured friendships took me to that book and gave me some great insights on how to be a better friend. Fractured friendships have taught me to absolutely cherish those women around me that are special - to NEVER take advantage of their time, their kindness or their spirit. Fractured friendships have led me to check and double check that I am always being real and never leading someone to believe that they're something more (or less) to me than they really are. Fractured friendships have taught me to really listen, to really hear what my friends are saying and to care enough to respond.

So...maybe an odd tribute? To look back at friendships that have blown up, people in my life that have turned their back and walked away, and write a tribute to them? Yep. Because without these valleys in my life I wouldn't have grown to be the friend that I hope I am today. Blessings sometimes come through tears.

Tribute #3 - Kathy Hill and the FBCP Softball Team

Tribute #3 is to Ms. Kathy Hill and the First Baptist Church - Prattville, AL women's softball team. This is a story about how I became connected to a church, to a Baptist church, and ultimately to the woman who would lead me to salvation.

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I moved to Prattville, AL from college in May 1992. I don't remember what day of the week I moved into my apartment, but I remember that first Saturday very very well. I had seen a large softball complex in Montgomery (P'ville was a suburb) and decided to drive over on that Saturday morning to see softball in the south. Turns out there was a tournament happening so I went in. Keep in mind that I was tough to impress back then....I was a seasoned fastpitch softball player not real impressed with slow-pitch. I realized though that I was officially an adult and that slow-pitch was all that was left for me (sniff sniff).

So I walked around the complex, stopping at each field to watch the teams. I got to one field in particular and liked what I saw....these women almost looked like they knew what they were doing! I sat down on the far end of the bleachers and watched - keeping to myself. It wasn't long that this woman spoke to me in that sweet southern voice; asking me if I knew someone on the team or something like that. I was polite and made small talk with her - she ended up introducing herself as the coach's wife - Kathy Hill. I told her that I'd just moved to town and she immediately invited me to church. Convenient that she and her husband, the coach, were the singles class teachers. (Nice work God.....)

So that was the beginning. I DID go the next day and the next week and probably the next week. While my desire was simply to pick up on this team, I ultimately made some friends, witnessed some joy and became a Christian three years later with the help of one of my teammates.

How bout that!?? Thank you Kathy Hill for reaching out to me, for not staying in your comfort zone with your friends, for caring enough to say 'hi'. Thank you FBCP softball team for welcoming me onto the team and being my friends even though I probably wasn't the most Christ-like on the field (hahaha). Gotta give it up to God too for orchestrating the circumstances of that Saturday morning too.....it gives me chills every time I think about it!

Christmas Thoughts

What a wonderful Christmas season 2010 has been! The Spencer's have been blessed SO GREATLY this year....with health, joy and peace in our lives. If there is one 'thing' that's gotten my attention this year, one thought that's constantly in my mind, one realization that has hit home this year....it's this:

"When my eyes are firmly on the Lord and my path is His path, joy and contentment will be mine no matter what other circumstances arise."

I am not going to launch into a sermon here, but can say that this is where I am, what I believe and what I've experienced first hand in 2010. Here are some thoughts that are rolling around right now.

1) My family
Dennis and I have been married for 13yrs and have been parents for 12 of them. We've done a lot of things wrong over these years, both as spouses and as parents, but as we seek God's way and learn from the past, I believe we are getting it right more and more often. We've learned that there are things we can do and say that are absolutely TOXIC and we've stopped doing and saying them. We've learned that lifting one another up and focusing on what's right rather than what's wrong is so much better. I absolutely adore my family and find happiness in them every day.

2) My friends
I've been pretty content with my group of friends for a long time. In fact, making new friends hasn't even been a desire for several years now. I once thought that as you hit your 30's that you've about got the friends you're going to have. However, what I've experienced this year has changed that thinking. I have a friendship today in Olive Branch that I didn't think was possible. A friend that has taken the time to get to know me, has invested emotional energy in me and has let me know over and over again that she's here for me if and when I need her. In turn, I've tried to be that same friend to her. And guess what?? As we care for one another, come through when needed and learn more about each others hearts and souls....we have cultivated a trusting bond of friendship! Cool, eh?

3) My job/career
I absolutely love my job. At 40yrs old I have a pretty good idea what kinds of opportunities are left for me at International Paper and they make me smile. I work with good people; people that care about their work and care about their co-workers. I've also found that as I allow my co-workers, my customers and my peers to get to know me more that what I believe, how I act and who I am can be a positive influence on their outlook and attitude. People notice when I work with pride, when I work with a positive attitude, when I show humility and honesty even when it doesn't necessarily benefit me. So...while my job supports the family and my career still something I take a lot of pride in, I'm finding more and more that my days are about more than making money and gaining position and power. This makes going to work everyday enjoyable!

4) My future
My future lies in wherever God leads me. I know that parenting will be a large part of what I do for the next several years - while parenting NEVER ends, the most important moments will be over the next 6-10 years. Other pieces of my future will be in volunteer work, in church activities and in finding other opportunities to serve. I will take care of my parents - both of whom are in their 80's - enjoying them for as long as I'll have them. I'll continue to get to know my sister again....after 20 or so years where we basically never talked we've become friends again. Val's a good aunt with the kids and a pretty cool chick to boot. I think she'll become more and more engrained in our family as time goes by. No matter what the future holds, I know that I'll be looking up for direction, for encouragement and for security.


My hope is that all of you that read this can take inventory of what's driving you, what's building you up or bringing you down, what's guiding your path. If you can't co ome up with an end result of joy and contentment then I encourage you to make changes. A life without joy is not the life that God has for you!!

Merry Christmas everyone!