Are you REAL?

**I wrote this last night on an airplane after an AWESOME email exchange with a friend. She really made me think over the last few days; challenged my own feelings and concept of stepping out from behind the wall. Hope it challenges you too!**

_______________________________________________________________________________

ARE YOU REAL????

Easy question, right? Of course you're 'real'. You let every emotion out,
voice your convictions, feelings and thoughts and let people into your
world. You don't "put on the happy face" or "wear your Sunday best", do
you?

Ouch. Did I call you out? Step on your toes?? Don't worry, I've not been
real either. For as long as I can remember I've been the person that I
wanted people to believe I was. I've put on the game face, the Sunday
morning smile, the Wednesday afternoon contentment. I've led people to
believe that I had the best marriage, the greatest job, the most content
heart. Did you buy it? Did you ever think it was too good to be true?

Here's what's cool though. Over the past few years I've been fortunate
enough to have that fantastic group of friends; those women that will take
the time to get to know you and not first judge you. That group of ladies
that has loved me for who I am and who I'm not. For what I've done and
what I didn't do. Loved me for my successes and my failures. I've been
able to BE REAL with them and it's a feeling of freedom that is without a
match. What do I say about that?? Wow. That's it. Wow.

Do I need to tell everyone of every hurt, every guilt, ever fear that once
consumed me or consumes me now? Not at all. Those that are the right ones
for those deep relationships have been revealed to me through God's hand.
They are here and they are real and they are the most special people in the
world to me. Are there more to come? Perhaps. I hope to have many
seasons left by which I can use my story of God's redemption to grow closer to
and impact others. Will that result in another group of soul sisters to
add to the small group I already have? I don't know and I don't care.
What will be will be and I'll be there to accept whatever path the Lord
leads me down.

BUT - do I owe it to God to share the pieces of me that define my journey??
Yes, I do. I recently told someone that God would never have let me go
through some of the valleys I've been through if it weren't for the
opportunity to share those with others. The story of 'who I was and where
I stood' once upon a time vs 'who I am and where I now stand' is too good
of one to NOT share. I owe it to God to let others know of the hell I've
lived and how only the LORD has pulled me out of the deepest darkest
places. How many people could benefit from what you've learned on your
life journey? How many others could feel more compassion and grace by
sharing their hurts and fears with you because they know you're there with
them or have been there before?

Let me end by asking you this.....WHO are you? Are you the person I see on
Facebook or is that just the person you want people to think you are? Are
you the person I see at church on Sunday morning with your life 100%
together? Are you the person that answers 'fine!' To anyone that asks you
how you're doing? I think that most of us have so many needs, so many
hurts, so many doubts that what we need is a group of people around us that
care, not judge. I think that if we knew we'd be loved and accepted the
way we are vs the way we want people to believe we are that we'd be so much
happier and free. We'd share, we'd become vulnerable, we'd open our hearts
up with the hope that thy'd be held. Sadly, I think that so many of us
have created such a false picture of what's real that the others feel as
though they have no choice but to portray the same persona publicly!

Hear me! You don't need to be fake!! You need to be real!! Let others
love you, hold you, console you, be there for you. Lean on your friends!
Do you wonder who those friends really are?? Be real and I promise you'll
know quickly who they are.

Be the person that God made you. Its the only way to feel peace. Want to
know more?? Ask me.....but be prepared to hear the REAL me.

What Makes a Good Teacher?

My daughters have had eight different teachers in their nine years of school (they both had the same third grade teacher). When I think back about each of them, I find that I can't even remember Sara's Kindergarten or 1st grade teachers. I wasn't very involved in the school, worked too much and didn't even make time to go on field trips. Luckily, by the time Emily got to Kindergarten my outlook on being an involved parent changed. I made it a point to visit the school more often, have lunch with the kids and go on every field trip possible. For the last four years I like to think that I've been a pretty good "parent of school-aged children".

So....I've gotten to know the kids' teachers pretty well over the last four years. I've come to realize that 1) not every teacher is perfect for every kid, 2) there are many different teaching styles and each can be effective and 3) kids will rise to the challenge that is laid before them.

What makes a good teacher? We'll skip the obvious....they have to love children and they have to want to see children reach their potential. I mean, if they can't check those two boxes they need to go be mailmen or something. Here's my list....in no particular order.....gleaned from my own observations of (mostly) my own kids:

1. Excellent communication skills are vital - kids AND parents need to know what to expect, what is expected and how the kid is doing in respect to meeting those expectations.
   
2. Teachers must be students too - as teaching methods change, as social climates shift and the environments in which kids are living in evolve, it's critical that the best teachers change, shift and evolve right along with them. What worked 10 years ago (or 6mos ago) may not be as effective today.
   
3. Awareness of the little things is crucial - when Emily got glasses in Kindergarten it was a total non-event. I never talked to her teacher about it.....I just assumed that she would wear them all the time. It wasn't long before I got an email from her teacher asking me whether Emily had glasses just for reading or for use all the time. The fact that she would even be aware that Em had gotten glasses then taken the next step of making sure she understood when and why the glasses were to worn was stunning to me.
   
4. Good teachers create competition and recognize those that win. One of the girls had a teacher that made Accelerating Reading points a serious contest. Every week, the top three point getters were listed on the take-home homework sheet for the world to see. The pride that my daughter felt in seeing her name on that list and the ensuing determination that drove her to work to be there EVERY week gave me a child that could read, spell and comprehend things WAY WAY WAY better then I could have ever imagine. **Caution....Carolyn commentary** Enough of the 'everyone's a winner and we shouldn't recognize one child over another' bunk. Rewarding kids for mediocrity results in, oh I don't know, kids that think mediocrity is a goal. Keep that bleeding heart liberal crap away from my school!!!!!
   
5. Ok, back to point. The last thing I'll mention is that a great teacher HAS to be honest. Don't tell me that my child is doing 'just fine' if there are two really critical things that they need to improve upon. If my child talks so much that moving her next to the computer wouldn't slow her down (cuz she'd just talk to the computer.....), then tell me! I can fix that!! I've had teachers give me good, honest, constructive feedback on my girls and it's helped ME be the partner in teaching that I want to be.

So, now you tell me!! What do YOU think makes for a GOOD TEACHER?

I Had No Idea

I was talking to my BFF last week......we live far away but stay in touch pretty frequently via the phone. In the course of the conversation she asked me 'so, how are things with the Spencers'? I answered truthfully - they really are going well. The kids are doing fine in school, work is busy but still something I look forward to most days, Dennis and I are good and softball takes up about every free moment we might otherwise have.

Out of nowhere though I was smacked by a thought that just tumbled out ...... "The one thing that I'm bothered by is that I've been missing Wednesday night discipleship class because of travel and softball practice." I said it before I thought it and it really surprised me! I thought to myself that I needed to fill that void some other way and would make it a point to do so.

As most of my thoughts go, some other thought came in shortly thereafter and that was the last time I considered Wednesday nights. Until yesterday. Yesterday I was flying home from Baltimore and was able to get to the hotel a good 3hrs before my flight. Having done my homework, I KNEW that there were two other flights through ATL that would get me back to Memphis earlier. All I could think of was that I really wanted to get home earlier....I really wanted to either go to Emily's practice or go to discipleship class......but both flights were full so I sat. I was bummed.

When I got to ATL I talked to Dennis - he was taking the girls to Emily's softball practice and told me "I know you're tired, why don't you just go home and get some rest." He was right....after being on the road since Monday morning, doing two high profile meetings with customer executives (where I was the expert!) and driving between south Jersey and Baltimore, I was whipped. But deep down I couldn't shake the thought that I didn't just WANT to go to the 6pm discipleship class that I'd missed the last two or three weeks, I NEEDED to go. So "go" I did...showed up 30 minutes late, but showed up.

As usual, class was great. The "I Had No Idea" thought was this. If you had asked me before yesterday why I go to Wednesday night discipleship classes, I probably would've told you that 1) the kids are in choir, so we go there while the kids sing or 2) the classes are great - I always learn something or maybe even 3) it's great to sit and learn with church friends and it's even a little sociable. What I realized last night however was how much I longed to hear the Word of God spoken to me in a way that applies to my life today. I realized that these classes feed me, nourish my spirit, open my eyes to what God wants me to see. Whether its reestablishing what I already know or showing me something completely new, the things that are taught week in and week out are the principles that help guide me to a life more dominated by joy. I realized that when I'm not getting that, I'm more apt to let the world in and allow it's teachings to dominate. And I don't like that one bit.

Thanks Scott and thanks First Baptist, for recognizing the need for ministering to adults. For ministering to me.