Christmas Thoughts

What a wonderful Christmas season 2010 has been! The Spencer's have been blessed SO GREATLY this year....with health, joy and peace in our lives. If there is one 'thing' that's gotten my attention this year, one thought that's constantly in my mind, one realization that has hit home this year....it's this:

"When my eyes are firmly on the Lord and my path is His path, joy and contentment will be mine no matter what other circumstances arise."

I am not going to launch into a sermon here, but can say that this is where I am, what I believe and what I've experienced first hand in 2010. Here are some thoughts that are rolling around right now.

1) My family
Dennis and I have been married for 13yrs and have been parents for 12 of them. We've done a lot of things wrong over these years, both as spouses and as parents, but as we seek God's way and learn from the past, I believe we are getting it right more and more often. We've learned that there are things we can do and say that are absolutely TOXIC and we've stopped doing and saying them. We've learned that lifting one another up and focusing on what's right rather than what's wrong is so much better. I absolutely adore my family and find happiness in them every day.

2) My friends
I've been pretty content with my group of friends for a long time. In fact, making new friends hasn't even been a desire for several years now. I once thought that as you hit your 30's that you've about got the friends you're going to have. However, what I've experienced this year has changed that thinking. I have a friendship today in Olive Branch that I didn't think was possible. A friend that has taken the time to get to know me, has invested emotional energy in me and has let me know over and over again that she's here for me if and when I need her. In turn, I've tried to be that same friend to her. And guess what?? As we care for one another, come through when needed and learn more about each others hearts and souls....we have cultivated a trusting bond of friendship! Cool, eh?

3) My job/career
I absolutely love my job. At 40yrs old I have a pretty good idea what kinds of opportunities are left for me at International Paper and they make me smile. I work with good people; people that care about their work and care about their co-workers. I've also found that as I allow my co-workers, my customers and my peers to get to know me more that what I believe, how I act and who I am can be a positive influence on their outlook and attitude. People notice when I work with pride, when I work with a positive attitude, when I show humility and honesty even when it doesn't necessarily benefit me. So...while my job supports the family and my career still something I take a lot of pride in, I'm finding more and more that my days are about more than making money and gaining position and power. This makes going to work everyday enjoyable!

4) My future
My future lies in wherever God leads me. I know that parenting will be a large part of what I do for the next several years - while parenting NEVER ends, the most important moments will be over the next 6-10 years. Other pieces of my future will be in volunteer work, in church activities and in finding other opportunities to serve. I will take care of my parents - both of whom are in their 80's - enjoying them for as long as I'll have them. I'll continue to get to know my sister again....after 20 or so years where we basically never talked we've become friends again. Val's a good aunt with the kids and a pretty cool chick to boot. I think she'll become more and more engrained in our family as time goes by. No matter what the future holds, I know that I'll be looking up for direction, for encouragement and for security.


My hope is that all of you that read this can take inventory of what's driving you, what's building you up or bringing you down, what's guiding your path. If you can't co ome up with an end result of joy and contentment then I encourage you to make changes. A life without joy is not the life that God has for you!!

Merry Christmas everyone!

"True Love is Chosen Love"

Our transitional pastor used this phrase during a sermon a few months ago.....it struck me as being 'deep'. I went back through the sermon that day and couldn't ever figure out WHY Brother Hal said this...it really didn't seem to fit with anything else he talked about. But....again.....it struck me. I vowed to try and figure out why it struck me, what about that phrase stopped me in my tracks, who it was talking to and how it applied to my life.

In the Bible, the major 'love' emphasis is to love God, love ourselves and love one another. Although we Christians know this, believe this, long to live this emphasis out....we have SUCH a hard time doing it! Is it because we think that love is something we can conjour up ourselves? Something that we can 'do' on our own?

No, love is not something we're naturally good at. Only when the Holy Spirit sets up shop in our lives, only when we give up and surrender all control, only when we truly understand the love that God has for us are we able to let that same love flow through us.

So...back to the 'true love is chosen love' idea. Can we be made to love someone? Can we be told that we should love someone and it automatically happens? No. Not. At. All. Do we instead decide that someone is worthy of love? No, that can't be it either. Worthy of? Really? Who among us IS worthy of love?

Chosen means that someone makes a conscious choice, right? Does that mean that there's no 'love at first sight'? No....'I just knew'? No, 'it was meant to be'? No....I think that all of these are real. But LONG TERM love, serious relationships, feelings that really matter...those are indeed CHOSEN.

How so? Well, let's think about spouses and friends.

Something like 50% of marriages end in divorce....let's call that 'love that didn't last'. How many other marriages DON'T end in divorce but are prime examples of love that once was but is no longer? What does a marriage look like where love is ever present? It's a marriage where both man and wife CHOOSE to love one another. It's where both parties come to the knowledge that love is work, that love is a commitment, that love is both of them looking to be more like God. And that if they're both on that path, the path towards God, that they are on the SAME path, and that the love forged in that path is the love that will prevail in their lives.

And friendship? Especially between girls? Women? Are their harder friendships that those, when we are so naturally predispositioned to be vain, jealous, back-stabbing? Well then....is it possible that a true friendship could be anything BUT chosen? We MUST make a choice, we must decide, we must set our hearts to love a friend in a way that forgives, that accepts, that desires to love in a way that can only be from deep within. I know this love. I know this desire to be friends in a way that cannot be shaken. I know this love that is CHOSEN.

You can't force love. You can't be MADE to love. If you could, would it really be love?

The Next '40'

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the 'first 40' years of my life....a brief summary of where I'd been. I was thinking about what I might have said my first 40 would look like if you'd asked me when I was 10yrs old, 20yrs old, maybe even 30 yrs old. At any of those times I would've failed miserably at predicting what the next several years would look like.

So this morning I embark on a blog post about the next 40 years and what they will hold. Laughable? Absolutely! As if I have any idea. So.....I think I'll keep it to a pretty high level list of things that I hope to see, do and experience.

The biggest THINGS will occurs in my childrens lives. In the next 6 years Sara will potentially experience middle and high school sports and find out where this choir experiment will lead. Might she find a love for singing? Will volleyball or basketball overtake softball as her favorite sport? One thing I'm pretty sure of....she should graduate in 2017. Emily is only a couple of years behind and I don't expect her path to be TOO different. We shall see.

College? Jobs? Marriage? Kids? I pray that both of my girls will have exciting college experiences like I did (well.....without some of the excitement....). What will they major in? Who knows! What kind of career path will both embark upon? Who knows! My desire for them is to establish themselves well into their 20's before getting married but I know that one may very well marry at 21 and the other when she's 35. You just don't know! Kids? Both seem to want them and I'd love to be a grandparent, but we are in NO HURRY for that!

So what about me? Dennis? Well, I see our marriage continuing to grow stronger as the kids get older. As our relationship with God deepens so deepens our commitment to one another. I see Dennis continuing to branch out into more and more volunteer/missions work....using the talents he's been given to help others. I hope to do a variety of things at work for about the next 15 years then retire gracefully and happily at 55/56yrs old.

My parents are both in their 80's so I know that there will be some moments in the next 5-15yrs that will be trying. Until then, I plan to spend more and more time with them, travel more with them and glean all the wisdom I possibly can for the benefit of myself and the kids. Having them come to Hawaii with us this past year was wonderful - hopefully there are a few more of those vacations in the next several years.

I see retirement filled with travel and community giving. I hope that the girls end up in fantastic places where we are welcome to visit and that we do so often. I want to make more time available to visit friends and spend time with them and their families. I pray that our health holds up, that Dennis and I continue to treat our bodies well and that we're active and able to do all kinds of super cool stuff as we get older. Rafting, hiking, parachuting, hang gliding....these are the things I want to do in my 40's, 50's and 60's with my kids and my grandkids. Fun, eh?

Finally, I hope to see some really special people in my life come to know God as their personal saviour. There are people in my life that I've been praying for for 5yrs, some for close to 10 years.....if I have to pray another 40yrs then I'll do so. Yes, it's that big of a deal.

So was that vague enough? I think so. What's NOT vague is my focus on praying for the next 40 years. Praying that my kids are blessed with health, with success in school and relationships and blessed with the Spirit guiding their way. Praying that our family remain strong and focused on what's truly important. Our Father wants the best for us and I intend to keep asking for it!

What do your 'next 40' hold?

Time To Check A New Box

Last week I turned "40". Yep, the big FOUR-OH. I remember back when I thought 40 was old, that things went downhill after that, that if I hadn't done 'it', whatever 'it' was, by 40 that it probably wasn't going to happen.

Well every single one of those preconceptions are WRONG!! I'm excited about 40! I feel great, have an awesome family, am in an exciting job and am expecting the best decade of my life. Take THAT "40"!!

So I got thinking about 'the first 40 years' then 'the next 40 years'. Those of you that have known me a long time, read my testimony or simply put forth the effort to get to know me the last couple of years likely KNOW a good bit about my first 40 years. A quick recap might read:

0-12: Spoiled kid with fairly prominent, connected parents
13-18: Undisciplined teenager, successful academically and athletically
19-22: Chemical Engineering degree, great job, moved away from home
22-25: Dependancy on all the wrong things - very hazy time
26-27: Met and married Dennis
27-34: Two children, crazy work, three moves, no work/life balance
34-37: Trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be
38-40: Finally allowed God full reign and started living/loving life

No way does that recap do the first 40 justice.....but it's a good outline. I am however WAY more interested in the what the NEXT 40 will bring. I'll write about that later.

Monday Morning by carolynspencer at Garmin Connect - Details

Monday Morning by carolynspencer at Garmin Connect - Details: "Share"

Got to try out my new toy this morning. I read about this new Garmin watch in an issue of WIRED (super cool magazine - check it out if you've never seen it!). The Garmin 110 Forerunner is a GPS/USB storage unit cleverly disguised as a watch. I strapped on the heart monitor and hit the 'start' button, and 2.65 mi later had completely my first official 'fitness run'. My plans right now are to train for the Azalea 5K Run in Mobile, AL next Spring. I'll certainly run some other 5K races prior, but I want to be READY to do well in Mobile. So...check out what the watch does - it's a total motivator!

Are you REAL?

**I wrote this last night on an airplane after an AWESOME email exchange with a friend. She really made me think over the last few days; challenged my own feelings and concept of stepping out from behind the wall. Hope it challenges you too!**

_______________________________________________________________________________

ARE YOU REAL????

Easy question, right? Of course you're 'real'. You let every emotion out,
voice your convictions, feelings and thoughts and let people into your
world. You don't "put on the happy face" or "wear your Sunday best", do
you?

Ouch. Did I call you out? Step on your toes?? Don't worry, I've not been
real either. For as long as I can remember I've been the person that I
wanted people to believe I was. I've put on the game face, the Sunday
morning smile, the Wednesday afternoon contentment. I've led people to
believe that I had the best marriage, the greatest job, the most content
heart. Did you buy it? Did you ever think it was too good to be true?

Here's what's cool though. Over the past few years I've been fortunate
enough to have that fantastic group of friends; those women that will take
the time to get to know you and not first judge you. That group of ladies
that has loved me for who I am and who I'm not. For what I've done and
what I didn't do. Loved me for my successes and my failures. I've been
able to BE REAL with them and it's a feeling of freedom that is without a
match. What do I say about that?? Wow. That's it. Wow.

Do I need to tell everyone of every hurt, every guilt, ever fear that once
consumed me or consumes me now? Not at all. Those that are the right ones
for those deep relationships have been revealed to me through God's hand.
They are here and they are real and they are the most special people in the
world to me. Are there more to come? Perhaps. I hope to have many
seasons left by which I can use my story of God's redemption to grow closer to
and impact others. Will that result in another group of soul sisters to
add to the small group I already have? I don't know and I don't care.
What will be will be and I'll be there to accept whatever path the Lord
leads me down.

BUT - do I owe it to God to share the pieces of me that define my journey??
Yes, I do. I recently told someone that God would never have let me go
through some of the valleys I've been through if it weren't for the
opportunity to share those with others. The story of 'who I was and where
I stood' once upon a time vs 'who I am and where I now stand' is too good
of one to NOT share. I owe it to God to let others know of the hell I've
lived and how only the LORD has pulled me out of the deepest darkest
places. How many people could benefit from what you've learned on your
life journey? How many others could feel more compassion and grace by
sharing their hurts and fears with you because they know you're there with
them or have been there before?

Let me end by asking you this.....WHO are you? Are you the person I see on
Facebook or is that just the person you want people to think you are? Are
you the person I see at church on Sunday morning with your life 100%
together? Are you the person that answers 'fine!' To anyone that asks you
how you're doing? I think that most of us have so many needs, so many
hurts, so many doubts that what we need is a group of people around us that
care, not judge. I think that if we knew we'd be loved and accepted the
way we are vs the way we want people to believe we are that we'd be so much
happier and free. We'd share, we'd become vulnerable, we'd open our hearts
up with the hope that thy'd be held. Sadly, I think that so many of us
have created such a false picture of what's real that the others feel as
though they have no choice but to portray the same persona publicly!

Hear me! You don't need to be fake!! You need to be real!! Let others
love you, hold you, console you, be there for you. Lean on your friends!
Do you wonder who those friends really are?? Be real and I promise you'll
know quickly who they are.

Be the person that God made you. Its the only way to feel peace. Want to
know more?? Ask me.....but be prepared to hear the REAL me.

What Makes a Good Teacher?

My daughters have had eight different teachers in their nine years of school (they both had the same third grade teacher). When I think back about each of them, I find that I can't even remember Sara's Kindergarten or 1st grade teachers. I wasn't very involved in the school, worked too much and didn't even make time to go on field trips. Luckily, by the time Emily got to Kindergarten my outlook on being an involved parent changed. I made it a point to visit the school more often, have lunch with the kids and go on every field trip possible. For the last four years I like to think that I've been a pretty good "parent of school-aged children".

So....I've gotten to know the kids' teachers pretty well over the last four years. I've come to realize that 1) not every teacher is perfect for every kid, 2) there are many different teaching styles and each can be effective and 3) kids will rise to the challenge that is laid before them.

What makes a good teacher? We'll skip the obvious....they have to love children and they have to want to see children reach their potential. I mean, if they can't check those two boxes they need to go be mailmen or something. Here's my list....in no particular order.....gleaned from my own observations of (mostly) my own kids:

1. Excellent communication skills are vital - kids AND parents need to know what to expect, what is expected and how the kid is doing in respect to meeting those expectations.
   
2. Teachers must be students too - as teaching methods change, as social climates shift and the environments in which kids are living in evolve, it's critical that the best teachers change, shift and evolve right along with them. What worked 10 years ago (or 6mos ago) may not be as effective today.
   
3. Awareness of the little things is crucial - when Emily got glasses in Kindergarten it was a total non-event. I never talked to her teacher about it.....I just assumed that she would wear them all the time. It wasn't long before I got an email from her teacher asking me whether Emily had glasses just for reading or for use all the time. The fact that she would even be aware that Em had gotten glasses then taken the next step of making sure she understood when and why the glasses were to worn was stunning to me.
   
4. Good teachers create competition and recognize those that win. One of the girls had a teacher that made Accelerating Reading points a serious contest. Every week, the top three point getters were listed on the take-home homework sheet for the world to see. The pride that my daughter felt in seeing her name on that list and the ensuing determination that drove her to work to be there EVERY week gave me a child that could read, spell and comprehend things WAY WAY WAY better then I could have ever imagine. **Caution....Carolyn commentary** Enough of the 'everyone's a winner and we shouldn't recognize one child over another' bunk. Rewarding kids for mediocrity results in, oh I don't know, kids that think mediocrity is a goal. Keep that bleeding heart liberal crap away from my school!!!!!
   
5. Ok, back to point. The last thing I'll mention is that a great teacher HAS to be honest. Don't tell me that my child is doing 'just fine' if there are two really critical things that they need to improve upon. If my child talks so much that moving her next to the computer wouldn't slow her down (cuz she'd just talk to the computer.....), then tell me! I can fix that!! I've had teachers give me good, honest, constructive feedback on my girls and it's helped ME be the partner in teaching that I want to be.

So, now you tell me!! What do YOU think makes for a GOOD TEACHER?

I Had No Idea

I was talking to my BFF last week......we live far away but stay in touch pretty frequently via the phone. In the course of the conversation she asked me 'so, how are things with the Spencers'? I answered truthfully - they really are going well. The kids are doing fine in school, work is busy but still something I look forward to most days, Dennis and I are good and softball takes up about every free moment we might otherwise have.

Out of nowhere though I was smacked by a thought that just tumbled out ...... "The one thing that I'm bothered by is that I've been missing Wednesday night discipleship class because of travel and softball practice." I said it before I thought it and it really surprised me! I thought to myself that I needed to fill that void some other way and would make it a point to do so.

As most of my thoughts go, some other thought came in shortly thereafter and that was the last time I considered Wednesday nights. Until yesterday. Yesterday I was flying home from Baltimore and was able to get to the hotel a good 3hrs before my flight. Having done my homework, I KNEW that there were two other flights through ATL that would get me back to Memphis earlier. All I could think of was that I really wanted to get home earlier....I really wanted to either go to Emily's practice or go to discipleship class......but both flights were full so I sat. I was bummed.

When I got to ATL I talked to Dennis - he was taking the girls to Emily's softball practice and told me "I know you're tired, why don't you just go home and get some rest." He was right....after being on the road since Monday morning, doing two high profile meetings with customer executives (where I was the expert!) and driving between south Jersey and Baltimore, I was whipped. But deep down I couldn't shake the thought that I didn't just WANT to go to the 6pm discipleship class that I'd missed the last two or three weeks, I NEEDED to go. So "go" I did...showed up 30 minutes late, but showed up.

As usual, class was great. The "I Had No Idea" thought was this. If you had asked me before yesterday why I go to Wednesday night discipleship classes, I probably would've told you that 1) the kids are in choir, so we go there while the kids sing or 2) the classes are great - I always learn something or maybe even 3) it's great to sit and learn with church friends and it's even a little sociable. What I realized last night however was how much I longed to hear the Word of God spoken to me in a way that applies to my life today. I realized that these classes feed me, nourish my spirit, open my eyes to what God wants me to see. Whether its reestablishing what I already know or showing me something completely new, the things that are taught week in and week out are the principles that help guide me to a life more dominated by joy. I realized that when I'm not getting that, I'm more apt to let the world in and allow it's teachings to dominate. And I don't like that one bit.

Thanks Scott and thanks First Baptist, for recognizing the need for ministering to adults. For ministering to me.

Why Am I Making This Decision...REALLY?

I really like Andy Stanley. He's a pastor and speaker and has this absolutely uncanny way of being witty with a message at the very same time he is stepping ALL OVER your toes.

The first part of a four-part series entitled "Your Move" is about examining WHY we make the decisions we make and forcing ourselves to be honest about it. WHY did we take THIS job we just took? Why did I choose to date THIS man? Why did I wear THIS to work today? Why do I spend more time ON FACEBOOK than I do reading the Bible?

This week I'm going to start filtering the decisions I make through the honesty filter. Not things like "why did I choose the Grilled Chicken with Roasted Red Peppers lunch instead of the Lasagna?" but things like "why did I make a negotiation move in a certain way?" or "why did I fill out my career development sheet in the manner that I did?".

Understanding our motivations behind our decisions is critical. Did we buy the new 47" Samsung TV because 'we really needed a new TV and this was truly the best deal'? Or did we buy the 47" Samsung TV because 'everybody else has an LCD big screen and a Vizio on the wall isn't as impressive as a Samsung'? Are we spending to impress when we could be using our resources in better ways? Do we take certain jobs because 'they'll help us better provide for our future' or because 'they'll allow me to move away from my in-laws'? (That's just an example honey....I didn't take the job in Memphis to get away from your parents.....REALLY).

So, I'm looking forward to seeing how this new filter stops me in my tracks and makes me think more deeply about what I do and say. Reports forthcoming......

Here's the outline for Part One if you're curious......
http://www.groupcurriculum.org/questions/questions.jsp?messageID=814

Friday morning routine

My Fridays are precious to me - the absolute BEST day of the work week!! Why? Because it's 'Friday', the last day of the week? Because the next day is 'Saturday'? Heck no!!! It's way better than that.

Let me walk you through a normal Friday:

4:26am - Alarm goes off. It usually takes me 13 seconds to shake the cobwebs out, realize that 'yes, it is indeed time to get up', and roll out of bed.

4:27-4:33am - Throw on a typically mismatched outfit of workout clothes, a serious layer of deoderant and my baseball cap.

4:34am - Contemplate NOT brushing my teeth since I'll likely chew gum at workout....then realize how gross that is and brush them.

4:35am - Lace up the Asics GT-2140's. I love these shoes....they are orange and white and I bought them on EBay for less than half the MSRP.

4:36am - Dig water bottle out of a drawer, fill it with ice and water and hopefully remember to close the lid.

4:37-4:50am - Drive to Jay-Lo's. Typically update my FB status at the first redlight announcing to the world (or at least 242 friends) that I'm crazy enough to be up that early to workout.

4:50-4:53am - Sit in parking lot waiting for our awesome instructor Cyrilla to show up and let us in. Catch up on last nights FB activity on my Blackberry.

4:53-5:00am - Get in, put down mat and weights and get myself mentally prepared to give it 100%!

5:00-6:00am - Workout with the usual 12-15 peeps. I love my Friday class - Cyrilla is a great motivator and the other people in the class are all so committed and push each other.

6:01-6:03am - Moan and groan, give a high five to Cyrilla and wish her a good weekend, and drag out to the car.

6:03 - 6:07am - Drive to Starbucks. I remember to put my glasses back on about half the time.

6:07-7:00am - Enjoy a grande skinny hazelnut latte in the brown leather chair with Kellie. We sit and chat about family, work, God and everything else. Always good conversation. Typically get 3-5 Olive Branch policemen to ooogle at while we're there.

7:00 - 5:00pm - Go home, get ready for work, drive kids to school (love doing that!), go to work, work all day, then call it a day.


WHY IS THIS SO AWESOME??

Because I'm feeding myself mentally, physically and spiritually to a point of sheer happiness. Having the discipline to get up, pushing myself at workout, then relaxing within the realm of a truly wonderful friendship satisfies me to the point where NOTHING can put a damper on my day. LOVE MY FRIDAYS!!!!!

How Can Your Heart Get 'Stolen'?

The other day I heard Britt Nicole's song, "The Lost Get Found" on the radio. Twice. In the same day. I love to really LISTEN to lyrics and was smacked by the phrase:

"THEN YOUR HEART WAS STOLEN"

I started thinking about all sorts of things but ended up coming back to these questions:

"HOW DOES ANYTHING GET STOLEN?"
"WHAT GET'S STOLEN?"
"HOW DO YOU KEEP THINGS FROM GETTING STOLEN?"


So. Things of value are stolen when they are not guarded. Plain and simple. People don't steal junk, they don't steal things that have no value. They steal things that have meaning and worth....maybe just to them....but they do have meaning and worth. Things that aren't guarded, are left out in the open, are careless handed off to others...these are things that are stolen.

Back to the heart. Mine was stolen a long long time ago.....I say that because I certainly did not have control or possession of it. My heart was once ruled by power and by greed. I had carelessly let it roam, let it be held by people and things that were not looking out for it's well being. Was it worth anything at the time? Well, it was worth keeping from ME....keeping from the opportunity to love and to care about anything other than myself. For a good many years my heart was held captive, stolen by Satan for his own pleasure.

I have my heart back, but this time I'm protecting it. How? By allowing the Spirit to inhabit it, from the front door to the back porch and everywhere in between. It's guarded day and night by what I read, what I watch, who I spend my time with. I still put my heart out in the open, but now it's done with purpose, protected the whole way by genuine love.

My heart will not be stolen again.

The "bad" part of having a closer walk with God

Ok, not really 'bad', but it may seem that way at first. Let me explain....

Often we Christians lament about 1) not knowing God's will, 2) not feeling the Holy Spirit's nudging, 3) not getting anything out of reading the Bible or hearing a sermon. As we discuss it we always end up with "the closer we get to God the more we'll hear him, feel Him, experience Him".

Well, that's all true! Without a doubt, the more I've committed my time, my thoughts and my actions to serving God, the more He's revealed to me in one way or another. I'll testify to that all day.

So where's the 'bad'? Well, along with all these good consequences I can tell you that God will ALSO make you more aware of where you're falling short of His expectations......where your SIN lies. Seems as though if I'm coasting along, making my own decisions and doing my own thing, I'm mostly content in knowing that I'm making what I think are the best moves. But as my focus is more squarely on God I've been struck by actions, feelings and emotions that are seriously ungodly. Another term for that would be SINFUL.

I'll offer up an example. I've stewed over something for months. I felt as though a friend should've done something that she didn't do. I took her actions (or inaction) as an affront to me. Just a few weeks ago, as I was listening to a sermon, letting the words sink in, it struck me that I was being selfish and judgemental. I struggled with that for a while but quickly realized that I WAS wrong and that I owed this friend an apology.

This whole realization and subsequent admission to my friend was not initially pleasant. BUT - there are two results from this experience that are simply awesome. First, the phone call to my friend and our conversation opened up our friendship in a special way. Second, I'm encouraged that I'm honing my listening and understand skills where God is concerned.

So, as you pursue God, remember that not only will He reveal what you should be doing, saying, thinking but also what you need to STOP doing. Where you're sin lies. Where you're seriously falling short. But that's what we want, right????